Ahuva Magder is a #MOMBOSS

She breaks the societal norms of being a parent

by Dunsin Adebise
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 Tell us a bit about yourself

My name is Ahuva, I’m a mom of 16 month twins (one boy one girl), and a Registered Dietitian who works with families to promote healthy feeding for all ages including managing picky eating, healthy food introduction all within the context of a busy lifestyle.

Can you describe your philosophy on parenting?

Professionally and personally my philosophy is that sometimes it’s okay to be a “lazy mom”. It’s a philosophy in progress because slowing down does not come naturally to me. In the age of social media it’s easy to get caught up in how other people manage to be perfect parents with perfect kids and feel inadequate if you’re not killing yourself for your children. But slowing down, and sometimes taking shortcuts when possible, taking help with offered, basically keeping your sanity is so important!

How do you manage your family? Are there specific ideals you value?

Ha! I always just do the best I can, trying to keep in mind the parts of the day that are necessary and which are the added frills . One ideal I definitely value is being a mom who lets her kids play in the sink. There was one day where my son climbed into the kitchen sink while I was washing his hands. I knew it was going to get very messy very fast but he was laughing like only a kid can while splashing around. It would have been smarter for me to take him out and go onto to my ever present to do list, but it’s important sometimes to drop everything and let your kids be kids!

What is your work/home life balance like and how do you manage it?

I’m very fortunate in that my work influences my home life and my home influences work. Being a dietitian has given me important knowledge when it comes to feeing my children. As a dietitian I work closely with families, and so often I hear parents start the session with “Don’t judge me but..”, and I don’t and can’t! I’m a parent too and raising kids and working I understand that sometimes “doing it all” means doing a little bit of everything and not always getting everything done. Raising kids is really is about balance, and knowing how to ask for help when you need it and my counselling style ALWAYS takes lifestyles, work and the craziness that is parenting into account for my clients.

If you could tell all the parents on Pink and Blue one thing, what would it be?

Give yourself a break! Someone I work with used to say jokingly that “guilt is the sign of a good mother”. Feeling like you’re not doing enough is apparently the bird call of moms everywhere. But sometimes it’s important to take a step back and ask yourself if what you’re doing is for you or for your kids. Having your children dressed and fed is important but does it have to be a restaurant quality meal while all of your children are it matching outfits, probably not. While those things are often very nice, being Instagram worthy doesn’t define being a good parent.

How has becoming a parent changed you?

It’s helped me see the beauty in chaos. I LOVE routine and as a mom of twins routines and schedules are still my best friends!!! But kids don’t always consult the calendar and sometimes the most fun and memorable moments happen when you go off-script. It may be messy but years later those are the moments you think back to again and again.

What kind of moms do you like to know?

Having a support system is key in parenting and other moms are an important part of that! I like to know the real moms. The ones who aren’t there to compete, who remind you that it’s okay when you’re struggling without making you feel like a failure and aren’t afraid to admit that sometimes they’re struggling too. I want to know the moms who know that every new mom is doing the best she can and making it up is comes.

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