I remember as if it was just yesterday, when my life flashed right in front of me. I had absolutely no control what the end result would have been.
I had a few abnormal pap tests that my gyno felt that i should checkout with a specialist. On Sept 24, 2008 I had my first appointment with the doctor at Sunnybrook Hospital. I had no idea what was going to happen at that appointment. The unknown was driving me nuts. I saw the specialist and after examing me, he wanted to take a biopsy. This was because he saw something unusual on my cervix. I went into panic mode right away and started to cry. After the exam was done I got myself dressed and walked out. The nurse stopped me and said that the doctor felt the need to schedule a procedure called a ‘Leep’. I could not believe that the doctor without knowing the results yet from the biopsy, still wanted to go ahead and perform this procedure.
Oct 14 2008 was the date I was given. Upon arrival to my appointment I was told that my results came back and what they found was high-grade dysplasia or in in other words: pre cancerous cells. They preformed the ‘Leep’ procedure and once again took another biopsy and sent it off to the lab. 2 weeks after is where my life changed forever. The nurse called me in to sit down with the doctor. I could not believe this was happening and knew that something was wrong. My mom and i went in and the doctor came into the room and said we found cervical cancer but the ‘leep’ procedure did the job as they caught it right away. But to be sure it did not spread to my lympthnodes, he wanted me to have surgery. Another option he gave was a hysterectomy. I could not believe what i was hearing and immediately starting crying and shaking. ‘How is this possible?” i thought to myself. I starting screaming to my mother “I don’t want to die”. I called my husband up freaking out. I remember i felt like passing out and the nurse had to bring me apple juice. They got me with my mother to comfort me. Nothing anyone said or did could make me feel better and due to the circumstances they did not expect it too.
I finally got home and was greeted by my husband with open arms. All I could think about was ‘I did not want to die’ and ‘I did not want to put my family through such heartache’. 2 days later, i got a call from the doctor’s office that I was scheduled for surgery on dec 4.
This felt like it was all a bad nightmare and that i would wakeup and realize it was all a bad dream. Unfortunately, it was reality and I was living the worse possible nightmare ever. It was a hard month and half before my scheduled surgery. A lot of emotional breakdowns. All I wanted to do was be alone. I did not want to talk to anyone. I could not really face my parents nor my husband. I did not want them to hurt. I was everywhere and all over the place… nothing anyone said or did made a difference. I had a lot of support from my family and friends regardless if i wanted it or not.
Dec 4th came fast. It felt like one blink and there we were.
My parents, husband and a friend came with me the day of the surgery for support and waited with me until I was brought into surgery. Which I have to say was 4 hrs behind by the time I actually was brought to the operating room. The waiting was horrible and it made me so anxious. I was starving as well. All i wanted to eat was a Harvey’s hamburger and a diet Pepsi, but instead I was on sugar water by iv .
Mark my w
ords and I will never forget about what happened as I was coming through from the surgery. They were taking blood from me. I did not know what was happening. The nurse told me that the doctor found something in my uterus. I could not believe what i was hearing. I thought for sure it had spread. ‘Why was this happening to me?’ I remember thinking. I voiced my concerns and the nurse said to me word by w
ord: We r taking a pregnancy test. My husband came in afterwards and I shared what they suspected. He was in complete shock as I was.
The next day I got a call from my doctor asking me why I did not tell him i was 2.5 months pregnant. ‘I am?’ is what I responded with.
Yep. I was pregnant and no it did not spread to my lympthnodes.
I was referred to a high risk obygn at Mount Sinai hospital because of the ‘leep’ procedure. They were afraid I would go into labour early. I was monitored very carefully and had ultrasounds often to make sure my cervix was still closed.
I was really afraid for “cookie”. That is the nickname I gave to my son. With the ‘leep’ procedure and all the nuclear medications and dyes that were
injected in me the day of my surgery not to mention all the emotional stressI was put under. I hoped and prayed every day and night that cookie would come out healthy. At night I used to lay in bed and rub my stomach and sang the song ‘you are my sunshine’. It made me feel a lot at ease and very much connected to cookie himself.
July 3 2009 and 39 1.5 weeks pregnant,I woke up in the early morning with unusual back pain. I brushed it off as Braxton hicks contractions. So I got dressed and went for a pedicure. As i was getting it done the pain was coming and going. Again I brushed it off. I had to run into the mall.
I went to visit my mother at the hair salon after. The pain was getting worse and now went all around. My mother looked at me and said go home you are in labor.
I got home and called the hospital. They advised me what to do. So as those pains that were actual contractions were getting closer in time i knew we needed to make our way down town but had to straighten my hair.
We finally got in the car. I was admitted to the hospital at 11pm at 5cm dilated. 12 hours and 54 minutes later our sweet and precious baby boy decided it was time for him to enter the world. Due to all i went through and of course the baby too, I did not want to look at him until I heard him cry. That cry brought tears to my eyes and I will never forget the first time I layed eyes on him. It was love at first sight. My husband and i were now complete with our sweet and healthy baby boy named Tristan. Our gift from GOD.
All the love and support I got from my family and friends i will never forget. Through tough and hard times all one needs to do is believe in miracles and I am living proof miracles do happen.
