Mommy Break ups. This is something that will inevitably happen to everyone. It is unfortunate, but has to be done for the sake of your sanity.
After a gruesome few weeks, I was happily dating a few hip and cool mommies. L and I would visit their houses and my newfound friends would come to ours. Things were great. Until one day when L exclaimed that he didnt want to play with Little Boy #1 today or any more days or forever. Surprised, I asked L why. He didnt want to get into details, but refused to go nonetheless. Feeling badly, I texted my mommy friend and said that L wasnt feeling well. I was sure this was a one-time thing and didnt want to make a big deal over it. Sure enough the next day L wasnt interested in the play date either. I told my mommy friend that we had made other plans, and went to the mall solo. On the third day of this, I forced L into an accidental bump-in with Little Boy #1 at the library.
Upon seeing Little Boy # 1, L began to shout No horsey!! No horsey!! and hid behind me. I apologized again to the mommy and took L aside. I couldnt understand why he didnt want to play with this sweet 18 month old. L in his attempt to speak proper English told me that Little Boy # 1 rides him like a horsey and he doesnt Yyike (Like) it. I tried to explain this to the mommy, but she didnt want to hear it. She said that its outrageous and that Little Boy # 1 certainly does not RIDE anyone like a farm animal. We were asked to leave the library.
After that encounter, I was surprised to see a missed call from Little Boy #1s mommy. When I picked up the message, it was an invitation to a party at Little Boy #1s house. Within a week, I had missed about 5 more calls from this particular mommy. I knew the time had come for me to break up with her. Not because I didnt enjoy her company which by the way, I totally did but because our friendship was based on our kids play dates, which clearly were not going so well. So I made the call. I was so nervous. What do you say in this kind of situation? Im sorry its not you its your kid?? I tried to explain the rarity of this situation and that I, as a new mommy, didnt know exactly how to deal with it. I told her that L simply didnt get along with Little Boy # 1, and it was just a personality thing and wasnt anything against her son. She thought it was bizarre that I was using my son as an excuse not to hang out with her and hung up on me. A bad breakup in my books.
A little dumbfounded, I thought about what had just occurred. Its true though just because they are kids and happen to be the same age does not mean that they will like each other and want to play. When my 73 year-old-grandmother came to visit, I felt awful that she just sat in the house alone all day while my sister and I were at school and my parents, at work. I decided to make her a friend. In the middle of our townhouse complex, was a little park with a bench. Parked on that bench were various old ladies from around the neighbourhood. I suggested that she also go sit on the bench and talk to those ladies. A splendid idea, she thought. When I came home from school that day, I found her on our couch, as per usual. I asked her why she hadnt gone out to hang with the ladies, to which she replied, and I quote (well, first translate and then quote), I cant believe you think I would be friends with those kinds of people. I didnt inquire any further on the types of people, but I realized that just because two people are old, doesnt mean that they have to be friends.
Same goes for kids. I think its very easy to overlook kids personalities because they are so little. Its important to remember that they are people too cute, and tiny, but people nonetheless. So if you ever have to break up with a mommy, try to let her down easily, dont assign blame, and if you enjoy her company, offer up your friendship, minus the baby.
xo
Jane Farkas
Awesome Mommy
www.awesomemommy.ca
All mommies are awesome -these are the ideas to make it real for your kids, your husband, and for yourself.
