As an awesome mommy, you will have to do things for the sake of your children. Things you never thought you would be doing such as
Picking up other mommies.
This phenomenon otherwise called as mommy dating is an awful experience you will have to endure in order for your child to have playmates. I was one of the first of my friends to have kids, and therefore, did not have the luxury of hanging out with my friends and their babies. But I had to do something. My kid was getting bored and, more importantly, I was desperate for an adult conversation one that was to be spoken in a pitch a few octaves lower than what I was used to.
I decided to dive into the world of mommy-dating. I reluctantly got my son and myself dressed in the morning and ventured out to the nearby library program. At the program, I first had to differentiate between the actual mommies and other caregivers. Not such a hard task you say think again. On several occasions, I wasted valuable time chatting up kids older sisters and other family members just to be told that it was really nice meeting me, but they would have to check with the mother before scheduling a play-date.
Mommy dating is just as awkward as regular dating, but requires way more effort because this time, you are not only responsible for yourself, but your toddler as well.
After scouting the room, I got up the courage to speak to a mommy that looked calm, put-together and fun basically what I aspire to be. I started with the usual Your daughter is so cute! How old is she? The mommy replied, that her son would be turning 2 next week. Humiliated, I smiled and walked away.
Not wanting to be a single mom forever, I decided to try again the next day at the Family Resource center at the mall. My approach, I decided, was going to be different. I was going to win over the child and by default the mother will come and talk to me. What wins kids over you ask? Candy. I pulled out a couple of M&Ms and lured a very nice looking boy over to where L and I were sitting. I offered L a candy and he ate it happily. The other kid stuck out his hand and starred me down. I gave him a handful of M&Ms that I now know contain traces of peanuts. Within half a second, his grandmother jumped out of nowhere and smacked the m&ms out of his hand before the poor kid had a chance to have any.
After what felt like an hour lecture from the grandmother about ruining his appetite in broken English, an allergy warning from the people who work there, and a whole lot of crying, I was asked to put my snacks away.
On my way home, sad and ego-strikken, I bumped into a group of women heading up to the baby music class. L blew one of them a kiss. She smiled. This is it, I thought, these are going to be my new friends. As I reached out to grab my phone, so that I could get their numbers, L decided to regurgitate the banana he was eating, spit it out onto his hand and whip it at the little girl in the stroller in front of him, all while shouting big feces. He obviously meant pieces, but as you can imagine, the mother was horrified. And after giving L and me a dirty look, she walked away briskly with her friends.
My one piece of advice to mommy daters: chill out. Keep a lookout for potential mommy friends. Everyone is in the same boat as you. Some people seem like they have it all under control, and then their baby pukes all over them. Go with the flow: when asked out by another mommy, take the date, and if it doesnt work out, plan a second one. Kids sometimes dont behave exactly like we expect them to. Eventually, you will have a circle of friends you can call your own.
xo
Jane Farkas
Awesome Mommy Blog
www.awesomemommy.ca
All mommies are awesome -these are the ideas to make it real for your kids, your husband, and for yourself.
